A good friend today sent me the following quote from the work of Paul Tillich, German-American Theologian and Existentialist Philosopher (1886 - 1965)
Loneliness expresses the pain of being alone, and solitude expresses the glory of being alone.
Roll on the change from pain to glory! Had a final session, before the cruise, with the therapist today. He, himself, will be away next week. But I will see him again when I get back. He has been of some help. When back, I will also link up with the Bereavement Support Group at COR.
The Effexor has taken away most of the anxiety and panic I was experiencing, and I am feeling more rational about the next seven weeks. The house is at the same time my refuge and my torture - a safe shelter, but so many reminders of Di. I miss not sitting down, together, taking a break from the day's hectic activities, to watch the 5 pm TV news, with a glass of wine, chatting about the day's events. But that will never happen again, and I must simply get used to it. Simply - that's the key. It is not simple. It is very hard and difficult, and needs considerable time for the adjustment of attitudes.
There is so much clean up work to be done around here. It has been neglected over the last two years. I just do not have the energy or inspiration at the moment, although I have done some. Perhaps I will come back from the trip inspired to get active and do what is necessary, and be radical. That is to be hoped for.
Peace and love to all. Geoff.
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