Hope

It has been a better day today. Actually achieved some things, including substantial progress in getting the bookkeeping up to date,  also filing. Also got my trip to the Mayo Clinic all set up,    airline reservations, shuttle and hotel bookings. About took me all day to do it, but it is done.

All sorts of little things bugged me today. This morning I had a nosebleed, just as I went to to take Ella for a walk. Then the zipper on my heavy jacket got stuck, so I had to deal with that also. Those things would have been fun to talk with Di about, and in a few seconds we would have been laughing together about them.. Today they were just irritants, and delayers.

It is the last day of the Grief Support Group tomorrow night, and I will miss my weekly group. I think I will see if I can get into see the psychologist before I go to Mayo's, and after over the Holiday season. But I think Thanksgiving was worse than Christmas will be, being the first major holiday without Di. Maybe I am wrong. We just have to live through it. Need to get Di's warm clothes to the Project Warmth people. There just seems to be so much to do, and I am a little overwhelmed in getting it done. As one of the EfM alumni said, (she was widowed a few years ago), "When you are alone, there is no division of labor. You get to do it all!"

Tomorrow night's group will focus  on "Getting through the Holidays", with lots of practical suggestions. We will light another candle, and will take photos, tell what we have found useful from the group. I thank them all for being there and helping by sharing the depth of the experience. If I have learned one thing it is that this isn't over yet, by a long shot. It will take longer than you or I want!

From my perspective I would have to call it  a "shattering" experience, as we all try to pick up the pieces, and try to establish the "new normal". But then so do servicemen with PTSD. I sure hope there is some similar kind of support for them. Peace and love to you all. Geoff