In my blog thus far the attention has been mainly on my grief, - how bad I feel at losing Di. This morning, during the Eucharist, I had a moment like Paul, on the road to Damascus. Should not the focus be on Dianne? And should we not rejoice that she is now beyond further suffering, rather than be sad because she is not here??
Her last 18 months were very troubled indeed. After the episode of quadriplegia, in November, 2009, she lost control of bowel and bladder function, and had to be catheterized and filled with laxatives to achieve bowel action. During the last month in the nursing home, where she went to get some physical therapy to regain leg strength. she became progressively weaker instead, and her legs became more and more swollen, due to the falling levels of her plasma proteins, related, in turn, to her immunological deficiency. In addition she was in constant pain. Because the nursing home could not, or would not do intermittent catheterization, her indwelling Foley catheter became contaminated with fecal material , and she finally developed a urinary tract infection with two different coliform organisms, which led to a final septicemia, and death. At the end, she was also in constant physical pain. So, why should we not rejoice that she is spared any further struggles and pain?
So, in future, I plan to rejoice more, and sorrow less. And quietly plan to get on with life as it is, rather than as I wished it were.
Up to Mayo's this week for renal function tests. I shall know more on Thursday next, as to whether the surgery in December was effective. Those results will determine my future actions. Love to all. Geoff/Dad
No comments:
Post a Comment