How I miss Di. And it is already three months. I miss the closeness, the touching, the conversation, the embraces, the lesser intimacies and her insight into situations. Saying hello to you as I pass by the cathedral Memorial Garden is no substitute.
Today I had Molly's company again. Even though we do not talk a lot, she is a bright companion.
The cruise is coming up quickly. Always, before, with Di, it has been exciting, and we could hardly wait to get on board. We had prepared together, researched cities we would visit, got maps etc. This time there is no enthusiasm. I think that if I could cancel it without financial penalty, I would.
Have now been on the starter dose of Effexor for three days, and there is some improvement. It seems to have taken away a lot of the anxiety and panic I was feeling. But I am not sleeping well, even with a sleeping pill. I tend to wake about 4:30 am, and cannot get back to sleep. So I get up at 5:00 am and read. When I double the dose of Effexor, after 7 days, I will look for more improvement. it also seems to have reduced the loneliness a bit, and I am more satisfied with my own company. tonight Molly and I went the Cathedral to help with preparation of the meal for Cafe Grazia. She seemed enthusiastic about doing that.
While Molly was here today, Ella seemed very unsettled and would not leave my side. I wonder what she is sensing?
Friends are looking after me, and feeding me. But that has a downside also. After losing a little weight, I am now putting it on again, with all these good meals. Have not ridden my bike for a while because of the heat. If there is a cool time in the morning I like to get Ella out for her mile walk. But I suppose it will not get any better, weatherwise, before I leave. Love and peace to all. Geoff
No comments:
Post a Comment