Monday, July 19, 2010

Look outside!

Today was a fair day. I was able to get almost all of the filing done, and now I can see most of the horizontal surfaces in the house.

The heat makes it difficult to get outside much, and one is hunkered down in the house where it is cool. This leads to a certain amount of "stir craziness". But I have made the effort to get out to Starbucks, and will also meet Linda Y, there tomorrow. It is clear that all outgoing initiative is going to have to come from me. Nobody will do it for me, and I will have to learn new ways of relating to people and their interests.

Di was always the one who made  friends easily, in a wide circle of activities, and I went along for the ride.  Now it has to be me who extends the hand of friendship, and welcomes people in. I still feel very dull and stunned, and not exactly outgoing and extroverted.  Perhaps it would be a good idea to go back on antidepressants for 6-12 months. Tomorrow I will talk with my FP doctor about it. While I do not feel that I am slipping back, I also do not feel I am making forward progress as rapidly as I would like.

There is lot of work still to do getting the house in order before I leave. On the Monday before I leave I will have Carrie, the CNA, who worked with us on the day Dianne died, come in and "burn" through the place, so I will leave it as clean and ready for reoccupancy as I can. She worked so hard for us that day. She is also a nice, happy person, and good to have around, as a person, as well as a worker.

Have not heard from my cruise companion in a while, and he has not filled in, on line, the information the cruise line wants and needs. I have sent him a few e-mails without response. Hope he is OK. However, I do know he was going to be doing some other traveling before leaving for LA. Also, his sole remaining elderly sister in Queensland had not been well.  So, he may simply be away somewhere, temporarily.  I will leave it at that for tonight. Love and peace to all, and may it come back to me.  Geoff

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